The Sniff Box – Perfume In Plain English

London smells

I’ve recently been commissioned by the wonderful Uncommon Guide Books to write a chapter for a forthcoming guide to London on the smells of the city – a kind of scent-tour, if you like. The idea is to give visitors some different perspectives from the standard guides, and also, perhaps, to take them to places and areas that they might not otherwise see.

A few things sprang immediately to mind, but I’m keen to make the chapter varied, informative and entertaining, so if you have any favourite London smells then I’d love to hear from you. Though I need to write it quite quickly I’m sure it’s an idea I’ll come back to, perhaps in a different form next time.

My favourite wheeze so far is to try and identify the smell of money, and to that end I met a friend on the steps of the Royal Exchange, opposite the Bank of England, right at the heart of the City of London. We edged our way through the suited rush-hour crowds, as they hurried home and bunched at intersections, trying to work out what money’s smell might be.

City of LondonCould it be the smart shops inside and around the Royal Exchange, selling perfume and jewellery and expensive leather goods? Or the people themselves, with their varied perfumes and hair preparations, whose scents mix and mingle in minute quantities, apart from the occasional, overpowering exception?

We tried standing by the main bronze doors of the Bank itself, as employees and visitors trotted in and out, but no mysterious fragrances, redolent of bullion or banknotes, wafted out from its marble halls. In the end we decided that if money smelled of anything today, then surely it would smell like the glass-and-steel atrium of a big investment bank – icily air-conditioned, with almost imperceptible traces of testosterone.

Of course the smell of money is an abstract idea in the end, a concept rather than a physical actuality. But great perfumes have been created on far more abstract ideas than that (think of Guerlain’s L’heure bleue, for example), so maybe we should get bottling and selling it. We might even make some money, and then we could bottle that.

18 Responses to “London smells” Leave a Comment

  • Barbara Friedl-Stocks on 4 June, 2014 8:02 pm

    Gt your nose intom i

  • Liz Helman on 4 June, 2014 8:27 pm

    Liz Helman liked this on Facebook.

  • Christine McFadden on 4 June, 2014 9:10 pm

    Christine McFadden liked this on Facebook.

  • Maggie Owen on 4 June, 2014 9:10 pm

    Maggie Owen liked this on Facebook.

  • Carol Stocks on 4 June, 2014 9:57 pm

    Carol Stocks liked this on Facebook.

  • Jane Regan on 5 June, 2014 1:20 am

    Hopefully only pleasant ones…?

  • Christopher Stocks on 5 June, 2014 7:39 am

    Not just!

  • Don Bowen on 5 June, 2014 9:43 am

    Tour of London in “Smell-o-Vision”…sort of. It should be interesting Chris.

  • Christopher Stocks on 5 June, 2014 10:05 am

    I hope so Don – though it’s a much less smelly city than it used to be…

  • Paul Chalmers Clare Hobart on 5 June, 2014 11:37 am

    Paul Chalmers Clare Hobart liked this on Facebook.

  • Ian Long on 5 June, 2014 12:05 pm

    Maybe the Lost Smells of London could be incorporated, then – for instance, Bermondsey must have had quite a reek when all the city’s tanneries were situated there …

  • Celia Woolfrey on 5 June, 2014 12:52 pm

    Celia Woolfrey liked this on Facebook.

  • Steven Horner on 5 June, 2014 12:52 pm

    Steven Horner liked this on Facebook.

  • Don Bowen on 5 June, 2014 12:54 pm

    I remember the smell of the so called “pea=soup fogs”. Yuk!

  • Christopher Stocks on 5 June, 2014 1:31 pm

    What was the smell like Don?

  • Charles Cowling on 5 June, 2014 7:09 pm

    Charles Cowling liked this on Facebook.

  • Don Bowen on 6 June, 2014 6:17 am

    Hard to define…though I have smelt similar in various settings. It seemed to be a mixture of rotting vegetation, molten steel and a touch of hydrogen sulphide.

  • Eric on 10 June, 2014 12:22 am

    Sounds like fun! Do you know the Jam song Down in a Tube Station at Midnight? I always thought that it was a scent poem set to music, but not smells one would want to smell! Right wing clubs, Wormwood Scrubs and pubs…….

Leave a comment